Nurturing Friendships in Children with ADHD: A Five-Step Guide for Parents

Friendships play a crucial role in a child’s social and emotional development. For children with ADHD, forming and maintaining friendships can be particularly challenging due to difficulties related to executive functions such as impulsivity, staying on topic during conversations, allowing others to talk, respecting personal space, and flexible thinking. However, with the right strategies and support, parents can help their children with ADHD build and sustain meaningful friendships. This article provides a five-step guide to help parents navigate the complexities of ADHD and friendship.

1. Create Realistic Expectations
   Learning to create and maintain friendships is a process that doesn’t happen overnight. It requires consistent practice and patience. Children with ADHD are generally about 30% behind their peers socially, which means that a 9-year-old with ADHD may have social skills more consistent with a 6-year-old. This doesn’t mean they won’t be successful at making friends, but it does mean that they are still figuring things out and will need your support. As a parent, understanding this can help you set realistic expectations and provide the necessary support.
2. Lean into Your Child’s Strengths and Interests
   Every child has unique strengths and interests. Whether your child is naturally gifted at sports, art, dance, or something else, these activities provide excellent opportunities for them to feel confident and interact with other children with similar interests. By providing your child with opportunities to socialize in activities they enjoy and excel at, you can help them build friendships based on shared interests.
3. Start with One-on-One Play Dates
   Group activities can be overwhelming for children with ADHD due to the excitement of multiple children, lots of noise, and navigating multiple interactions. Starting with one-on-one play dates can be a more manageable way for your child to build friendships. If you’re unsure who would be a good fit, consider scheduling a meeting with your child’s teacher to get more information on who your child plays well with. Keep these initial meet-ups short and ensure they involve an activity that both children will enjoy.
4. Make a Future Picture
   Children with ADHD often live in the moment, which can pose challenges for social interactions. To help with this, you can support your child by anticipating a situation before it happens and creating a “future picture.” This could involve drawing what a certain situation will look like or creating a thought bubble with different topics of conversation. This preparation can help your child navigate potentially tricky social moments.
5. Evaluate Together and Problem Solve
   After social interactions, take the time to talk to your child about what went well and what was challenging. Avoid criticism and instead get curious about challenging areas. Talk through the situation and help your child problem-solve alternative ways to handle it in the future. Praise your child for how they handled situations well and encourage them to learn from the areas that were challenging.

In conclusion, supporting a child with ADHD in building friendships involves setting realistic expectations, leaning into their strengths and interests, starting with one-on-one play dates, making a future picture, and evaluating and problem-solving together. By implementing these strategies, parents can help their children with ADHD navigate the social world, build meaningful friendships, and enhance their social and emotional development.