Coaching Your Teenager to Seek Assistance: An Insightful Guide for Parents-8 tips to help your ADHD teenager By [Dr.Anish]

Does your teenager reach out when they need help, or do they feign comprehension while battling frustration and helplessness? As parents, we often instinctively rush to solve our children’s problems, a habit we’ve honed over their lifetime. However, there comes a point when we must equip them with the tools to help themselves. So how can we transition from “fixer” to “supporter”? Here are eight tips to navigate these emotionally intense moments:

Hold Back on Solutions: Embrace a coaching approach. Instead of offering solutions, ask questions. This makes your teenager an active participant in the problem-solving process. When they’re stuck, prompt them with questions that encourage them to think critically and explore possible solutions.

Provide Conversation Starters: Arm your teenager with ways to ask for help without explicitly using the word “help”. Phrases like “I’m a bit confused about…”, “Here’s what I’ve got so far…”, or “Am I on the right track?” can be useful.

Demystify Authority: Teenagers may be intimidated by authority figures. Encourage your teen to see teachers, coaches, or other professionals as real people with their own lives and interests. This can help make them seem less daunting and more approachable.

Reframe ‘Help’: Teenagers may see asking for help as a sign of weakness or incompetence. Help them understand that everyone needs assistance at times, and it takes strength to admit when you don’t know something. Asking for help is not a weakness, it’s a pathway to success.

Highlight Examples of Successful People Seeking Help: It’s crucial to demonstrate that everyone needs support, even successful individuals. For instance, a general contractor relies on a team of professionals to build houses. This doesn’t make them weak; it makes them smart and successful.

Normalize Help: Help your teenager understand that seeking help is a common and necessary part of life. Use real-life examples to illustrate this point. Show them that seeking and receiving help is a sign of strength and maturity.

Emphasize Personal Strengths: Help your teenager identify their strengths. Remind them that no one is perfect or excels at everything. It’s okay to seek help in areas that are challenging.

Model the Behavior: You can’t expect your teenager to do what you’re not willing to do yourself. Demonstrate how to ask for and receive help when you need it, showing them that it’s a normal and healthy part of life.

Remember, the goal isn’t to make your teenager self-sufficient to the point of never needing help. It’s about teaching them the importance of seeking assistance when needed and arming them with the tools to do so effectively. Asking for help is not a weakness; it’s a testament to their strength and maturity. It’s an essential life skill that they’ll use in relationships, school, work, and beyond