Why Kids With ADHD Lie and What To Do About It

Lying is a common behavior among children with ADHD. It’s not a sign of a “bad” or “naughty” child, but rather a reflection of their ADHD brain and differences in executive functioning skills. Here are some reasons why children with ADHD might lie and what parents can do about it:

Why Kids With ADHD Lie
Impulsivity and Inattention to the Future: Children with ADHD often live in the moment and may impulsively lie to avoid an undesirable task or consequence without considering the future implications.

Struggle and Self-esteem: Children with ADHD may lie to get out of tasks that are challenging for them or to preserve their self-esteem. They may also lie to be seen in a certain light as they seek social validation.

What To Do When Your Child Lies
Identify the Real Issue: Understanding when and why your child is lying can help address the root cause. For example, if your child is lying about homework, it could be because they find it too challenging or hard to initiate.

Make a Plan with Your Child That Addresses the Real Issue: Talk to your child in a non-judgmental manner and try to understand their perspective. Then, work together to create a plan that addresses their struggles.

Create a System to Teach Honesty: Reward systems can be effective in encouraging honesty. For example, a child could earn rewards for being honest during different periods of the day.

Ensure Consequences Aren’t Overly Punitive: If your child is lying to avoid punishment, make sure the consequences are consistent and fair. Overly punitive consequences may increase the desire to lie.

Don’t Invite a Lie: If you already know the answer to a question, avoid “testing” your child to see if they will tell the truth. Instead, calmly state your observation and proceed from there.

Stay Calm and Offer a “Redo” When Appropriate: If you catch your child in a lie, try to stay calm and, when appropriate, offer them a chance to correct their mistake. This can help them learn honesty without being overly punitive.

In conclusion, understanding why your child with ADHD lies can help you address the root cause and provide appropriate support. Remember, lying is often a symptom of a more significant problem, and addressing these underlying issues can lead to improvements in your child’s behavior.